mental block.

took another personality test. three times. hahahahah! the first one, i got ISFP, the second INFP. both with borderline S/N scores. so i guess the third one is the most accurate?
spiking boredom. yikes.

Once there was a tree....
and she loved a little boy.
And everyday the boy would come
and he would gather her leaves
and make them into crowns and play king of the forest.
He would climb up her trunk
and swing from her branches
and eat apples.
And they would play hide-and-go-seek.
And when he was tired, he would sleep in her shade.
And the boy loved the tree.... very much.
And the tree was happy. But time went by.
And the boy grew older.
And the tree was often alone.
Then one day the boy came to the tree
and the tree said, "Come, Boy, come
and climb up my trunk
and swing from my branches
and eat apples
and play in my shade
and be happy."
"I am too big to climb and play" said the boy.
"I want to buy things
and have fun. I want some money?"
"I'm sorry," said the tree,
"but I have no money.
I have only leaves and apples.
Take my apples, Boy,
and sell them in the city.
Then you will have money
and you will be happy."
And so the boy climbed up the tree
and gathered her apples
and carried them away.
And the tree was happy.
But the boy stayed away for a long time....
and the tree was sad.
And then one day the boy came back
and the tree shook with joy
and she said, "Come, Boy, climb up my trunk
and swing from my branches
and be happy."
"I am too busy to climb trees," said the boy.
"I want a house to keep me warm," he said.
"I want a wife
and I want children,
and so I need a house.
Can you give me a house ?"
" I have no house," said the tree.
"The forest is my house,
but you may cut off my branches
and build a house".
Then you will be happy."
And so the boy cut off her branches
and carried them away to build his house.
And the tree was happy.
But the boy stayed away for a long time.
And when he came back,
the tree was so happy she could hardly speak.
"Come, Boy," she whispered,
"come and play."
"I am too old and sad to play," said the boy.
"I want a boat that will take me far away from here.
Can you give me a boat?"
"Cut down my trunk and make a boat," said the tree.
"Then you can sail away...
and be happy."
And so the boy cut down her trunk
and made a boat
and sailed away.
And the tree was happy ...
but not really.
And after a long time the boy came back again.
"I am sorry, Boy,"
said the tree,
" but I have nothing left to give you - My apples are gone."
"My teeth are too weak for apples," said the boy.
"My branches are gone," said the tree.
" You cannot swing on them - "
"I am too old to swing on branches," said the boy.
"My trunk is gone, " said the tree.
"You cannot climb - "
"I am too tired to climb" said the boy.
"I am sorry," sighed the tree.
"I wish that I could give you something....
but I have nothing left.
I am just an old stump.
I am sorry...."
"I don't need very much now," said the boy.
"just a quiet place to sit
and rest. I am very tired."
"Well," said the tree,
straightening herself up as much as she could,
"well, an old stump is good for sitting
and resting.
Come, Boy, sit down. Sit down and rest."
And the boy did.
And the tree was happ.y

The Daze
do you feel better now? when the promised stars are now nothing but a pile of debris. could you taste the freedom now? when the titanium cuff sets you free with a loud thud on the keeper's left chest. would you take your leave and soar home now? when the place is but a diminishing ruins.
do you feel better now that your chokechain has been released?
do you feel me now?
-y.n

shalom.
think i'm self absorbed? well, everyone is, someway somehow. :p
so,

1. i love being dependent. to Him. people say i'm very strong but i hate it that they think so.
2. i am super clumsy. always knock over stuffs even in my room. cost me loads of scars and bruises. yuck.
3. i LA-HUV eating. i don't take meals. i just eat all day long. which explains my weight and stretchmarks. yuck yuck yuck. :(
4. i was once fair. now i am dark because i play sports. i love sports but really despise my sunburnt, dark and dull skin.
5. i am secretly romantic.
6. i'd rather keep my opinion to myself than being honest. i hate the idea of hurting others.
7. i love books. i must have books or at least a book on my bed, study table, table in teacher's office, bag & going-out bag. basically i must have one at reach. Current craze are Love & Misadventure and The Cinderella Rule. been rereading them again and again cause they're very good! and cause i am broke. hahaha.
8. i am always secretly wanting to become a novelist. i wrote some half-way piece but yeah, i have issues in having the commitment to finish them. so i write here. hahaha.
9. i am very terrible in handling horror movie.
10. i adore Cristiano Ronaldo, Remy Ishak, David Archuleta, Lee Seung Gi, Brooke Fraser and Amy Lee. i do not fall into the bandwagon of becoming celebrity's die-hard-fans but i like them because they have this charming attitude and smile. and also they are very good in what they are doing.
11.  i am very terrified of big dogs. i had Suri once but she died. one day i was chased by a larggge dog and thus, i'll be all panicking and sometimes crying when i see one. huh.
12. i love watching hardcore comedy like Munahhirzi and New Girl and Hot Cleveland.
13. when i feel extremely, i am capable of writing philosophical pieces. hahhahahaha!
14. i will always be socially awkward. i feel hard to fit in or belong to some group.
15. no matter what people do to me, i am always able to forgive them. i will feel very very very sad but life is for loving, is it not?
16. imma proud self-proclaimed sweet tooth.
17. imma tea person.
18. i was awarded state's best debater. this is my biggest pride so far. but don't expect me to go around acting all diva. i just am not a fighter anymore. i don't understand why people would hurt other people. does it make them feel better about themselves? i believe in loving my enemy because they play crucial roles in my life. they note us our mistakes and make us want to do and be better.
19. i was not really close with my family. my siblings and i fought all the time and my parents were very strict with me. now, i wish mom would talk with me all day & we'd bake cakes every day, i wish dad would be around more and be healthier than he is now and my siblings are my biggest supporters.
20. i love shopping for books, food and dresses.

the end.

Shalom.

Growing up my siblings and i didn't really have toys. I remember Dad bought us dolls one each and that was it. In the 90's my family depended on Dad's mere RM800 pay and we lived just by having the basics. So the doll, mine was one of the Seven Dwarves. It was the size of an adult's head. It was maybe the emotionless one. bisi ka??? haha whatev. I loved to comb it's beard and sometimes trimmed it in case it got messy or too long. sillyhead, i am. It was my favorite toy because it was the only one i had.

Even though it was the only toy i had, back then we didn't really need toys to play with. With my friends, we could collect leaves, sticks, old can and kulat mata babi by Dayu Ingit river, played masak-masak with them and still had the time of our lives. Sometimes we'd just climb trees and / or went into bamboo plant (cos they grow in bunch) to play police and thieves. We took a handful of sands and mixed it with clay, buried it under the ground a few days and then we made them wrestle. Owning the sand ball that managed to win these matches was our greatest pride. Sometimes we would uproot a grass (yes you ipad gen, we could play with just grass), tied it by the ends and connected them with other's tied grass. We would pull and pull it until one of the grass was torn. We'd shave rampu betu's flesh (large cucumber, the orange ones) and let them float in the river to mimic sampans. We'd go to the river and play all kinds of games that involved swimming, jumping from cliffs and making castles / dam / little fish, crab and baby shrimp pond at the riverbed. Oh, oh we caught them with our little hands and shirt you know.

These are my treasured memories. What a life... To have fun, we don't have to spend thousands of ringgit notes. If we care enough to look around; and look closely, we could discover happiness- everywhere and in every form. It's free. It's always there for us to find, and claim.

For me, Happiness is to be always grateful of what we have, even with what we don't have.

Suppose phones, gadgets, laptops, pcs and the net never have existed, could you cope?

Love,
yne.

Either…

Coffee or tea?
Tea. Coffee makes my head and/or stomach hurts. like right now. sobs.

Black and white or color?
Colour. hues of purple + white.

Drawings or paintings?
Paintings.

Dresses or skirts?
Dresses.

Books or movies?
Booksss and occasionally, movies.

Pepsi or Coke?
Coke. Vanilla Coke. Pepsi tastes ngarei.

Chinese or Italian?
Both. cause i can. hahaha!

Early bird or night owl?
Night owl.

Chocolate or vanilla?
Vanilla.

Introvert or extrovert?
Proud introvert. hoyeah!

Hugs or kisses?
Hugsss. Kisses are taboo in my country.

Hunting or fishing?
Fishing.

Winter or summer?
Winterrr!!!

Spring or fall?
Spring.

Rural or urban?
Rural. pereferably by a waterfall. mmm.

PC or Mac?
Mac!

Tan or pale?
Pale

Cake or pie?
Cake

Ice cream or yogurt?
Frozen yoghurt

Ketchup or mustard?
Hot sauces. Especially tabasco's and Nando's. huu.

Sweet pickles or dill pickles?
Sweet.

Comedy or mystery?
Mystery.

Boots or sandals?
Sandals.

Silver or gold?
Then, silver or white gold. Now, golden gold. cause the colour is nicer.

Jazz or classical?
Jazzz.

Dancing or singing?
Both. but i seldom dance.

Checkers or chess?
Checkers. cause my lil sis always beat me in chess.

Board games or video games?
Depends.

Wine or beer?
err.

Freckles or dimples?
dimples. i have one on the left side of my cheek but it's hardly seen. cause my cheeks are fattt. true story.

Honey mustard or BBQ sauce?
what is honey mustard?

Body weight exercises or lifting weights?
body weight exercises. lifting weights are a boredom.

Baseball or basketball?
HANDBALL, forever.

Crossword puzzles or sudokus?
Crossword puzzles.

Facial hair or clean shaven?
Clean shaven.

Crushed ice or cubed ice?
crushed. like in an ice blended honeydew juice. huu.

Skiing or snowboarding?
skiing?

Smile or game face?
smile. 8)

Bracelet or necklace?
Necklace.

Fruit or vegetables?
fruits.

Sausage or bacon?
neither.

Scrambled or fried?
fried, please.

Dark chocolate or white chocolate?
white choc.

Tattoos or piercings?
tattoos.

Antique or brand new?
antique.

Dress up or dress down?
dress up, whenever i go out of the door. at home, dress down all the wayyy. hahahaha.

Cowboys or aliens?
Nice cowboy/alien.

Cats or dogs?
Dogs.

Pancakes or waffles?
Pancakes.

Bond or Bourne?
No.

Sci-Fi or fantasy?
Scifi.

Numbers or letters?
LETTERS.

Star Wars or Star Trek?
No.

Fair or theme park?
theme park. huuuu.

Money or fame?
Monehhh.

Washing dishes or doing laundry?
Doing laundry.

Snakes or sharks?
No!

Orange juice or apple juice?
Orange.

Sunrise or sunset?
Watching sunrise from a verry talll buliding. cause sunset is too mainstream.

Slacker or over-achiever?
Me? lemme think about it.

Pen or pencil?
pencil.

Peanut butter or jelly?
JELLYYY!!! LOTS OF THEM!!!

Grammys or Oscars?
Why?

Detailed or abstract?
Abstract poems, paintings and art and conversation. But detailed explanation and whysss.

Multiple choice questions or essay questions?
MCQ. oh i know. imma slacker.

Adventurous or cautious?
Very cautious. :(

Saver or spender?
Average both. hahahaha.

Glasses or contacts?
Contacts for playing and running, glasses for studying and going out and none when i don't want to really see stuffs.

Laptop or desktop?
Laptop. cause i can move it anywhere.

Classic or modern?
classic songs and paintings. modern fiction.

Personal chef or personal fitness trainer?
personal chef and fitness trainer. heee.

Internet or cell phone?
internet.

Call or text?
call.

Curly hair or straight hair?
mine? straight. pereferably? curly. but never have the courage to curl it.

Shower in the morning or shower in the evening?
bothhhh! i love water.

Spicy or mild?
spicy, please.

Marvel or DC?
No.

Paying a mortgage or paying rent?
Have yet to.

Sky dive or bungee jump?
Both, please.

Oreos or Chips Ahoy?
What does Chips Ahoy taste like?

Jello or pudding?
BOTHHHHH, PLEASEEE.

Truth or dare?
Truth.

Roller coaster or Ferris wheel?
Forever roller coaster.

Leather or denim?
Denim.

Stripes or solids?
Solids.

Bagels or muffins?
Chesse muffin.

Whole wheat or white?
white.

Beads or pearls?
beadsss.

Hardwood or carpet?
hardwood. cause i'm allergic to carpet. true story.

Bright colors or neutral tones?
neutral tones.

Be older than you are or younger than you are?
younger.

Raisins or nuts?
raisins.

Picnic or nice restaurant?
nice restaurant.

Black leather or brown leather?
no.

Long hair or short hair?
longgg.

“Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”?
"ready, aim, fire".

Fiction or non-fiction?
fiction.

Smoking or non-smoking?
smoking people are suiciders and murderers. everyone knows that.

Think before you talk or talk before you think?
forever thinking. :(

Asking questions or answering questions?
None.


How well did i do? hehee. How about you, would you answer these questions?

Love,
yne.