April 25, 2014.
For a long time, i haven't been able to be as calm as this. All is finished after a longgg and wearisome work. More is coming tomorrow but i enjoyed today. Though all the weighlifting (i moved in to a new hostel block) made my body drained out of energy but it's weird, i'm all happy and serene.

So today i keep listening to this song. It describes my life perfectly.

it's so hard but now the sun is rising. i'm feeling alright. Jesus, you keep me afloat. <3

shalom.

Shalom.

currently somebody is cutting grass in from of my soon-to-be deserted room. the smell lingers around this room and no perfume in this world could match it. well, for me la.

it is only just now that i decided to look up the reason why the fragrant is produced. little did i know that i'd learn a life lesson from mere grass. well here is my research finding:

"According to botanists (plant scientists), the smell of cut grass is caused by gases emitted from each injured blade. Chopped grass releases a long list of volatile organic compounds, called green leaf volatile (GLV).

Plants produce the volatile compounds within seconds of being cut. Some also produce the chemicals when they are damaged by frost."

well life could send us to the edges sometimes. life is hurtful. but no matter what, be able to make others' lives smell of perfume. be a reason that people could see that this world is actually beautiful. that mankind, no matter how broken it is, it's capable of being humane, and godly.

hope. faith. love.
and the greatest between these three is?

For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.
Colossian 1:16

Love,
yne.

Shalom.

Just now i clicked my blog's stat for the first time. i've been thinking that all of my thoughts here are just my written monologue. couldn't believe jmy eyes for what i saw!

Knowing that somebody IS reading, i'm having mixed feelings. positive ones. i don't really know to describe. but yay!(?) haha.

If you happen to drop by, do tell me what do you think about my blog alrightie?... any of your respond would help me to improve my writing.

Love,
yne.

Shalom.

In the last book of Hunger Games, this is one of my favorite moment:

Peeta was kidnapped by the Capitol. His mind was hijacked and consequently, he became the Capitol's weapon against Katniss. He hated her so much for the induced 'memories' but he loved her so much that he was willing to sacrifice himself so that he couldn't kill Katniss.

"You love me. Real or not real?" (Peeta)

Sometimes our feelings are so strong that we lose sight on what's real, and what's fictional.

Though the unreal has been revealed, somehow our hearts foolishly believe too much on the notion of realness.

No, to love someone and prayerfully having faith in something, say, a relationship is not wrong.

But should the signs and warnings be ignored? Would you spare another heartbreak? Another betrayal? More lies?

Perhaps we are rather hurt than feel nothing at all, so the sad song goes.

Read the story of ian and larissa today. Their lives are such examples of God working in the most beautiful way. Read their story here. It's so moving!

Watched Bukan Kerana Aku Tak Cinta. Learnt a thing or two about relationship from the drama. Jebat and Mastura are so sweet they made me suffering from toothache!

This season of being alone and emptying my heart is just so so so blissful and captivating. To be able to start from scratch and to be completely in love with Him alone is... just what my heart needs. Just in time. Just perfect.

Lord, thanks for this emptiness. Thanks for filling me with You and Your love and what You have in store for me. Thanks for letting me be able to let go. Love, break my heart, for what break Yours.

Off the topic, this is my handball team. We were the 2nd runner up for Sarawak Open Handball Tournament. ptL!!! too lazy to write about it so i just put it up here la ho. a memory like precious pearl. <3

God bless you.

in love with Love,
yne

I want to watch me the first day i was born and told that mushy baby "Sweetie, you will always gonna cry. But He will always be with you no matter what."
The day mom saved me from becoming the victim of a river accident, i want to hug her and kiss her and thank her with all my heart.
I want to tell my first love that it was not okay, to hurt me. I want him to know now, he is forgiven. That what he did scar me for life but the lessons learnt help me to grow.
I want to tell dad that i am not as strong as he thinks i am. And for that dad, i am truly sorry. I will always try to meet your expectation. i find living up to it is so hard, but in a way it's good for me. and i know this is what's in your mind.
I want to go to the hour-walk waterfall. Where i can sit under it all by myself and embrace the tranquility. And when i start to lose myself, i want Beth, Nayan, Mas, Kinit, and Ana to hold me and wake me up.
I want to bake cheesecakes and cheese biscuits and feed everyone with what i make. what i am passionate about is food and it's not all about eating it but the joy of sharing love through the satisfaction garnered from a good meal is just, surpasses any level of happiness.
I want to...